again and again

he claimed that
1. i wasnt cute enough
2. i wasnt pretty and slim enough
3. i always bully him
4. ...
probably he was just kidding, however, they meant alot to me
these days, i have been thinking of what to do if we break up
then i will
1. exercise everyday, concentrate on table tennis
2. diet, get slimmer and prettier
3. study study and study
4. ...
im planning these.......
"it's ok with me if he really breaks up with me" "and of course i will be sad "
"can you really make it"
"yea~"

he kiddin wit me again of breaking up
but what comes to my mind is that, i dont want to break
i want to be his girlfriend, and i want him to be my boyfriend
however the problem is that, he complains alot
sometimes i dont know how to make him happy, do what he thinks it's supposed to do
i lost my direction
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
probably it'll be better if we didnt start this relationship...